Reel Note help Irish Rugby Team to 6 Nations win

IRISH SPIRITS LIFTED BY CEILI BAND

The Reel Note Ceili Band’s CD 'Depends on the Speed of the Day' was subliminally played to Ireland Rugby internationals each night as they slept in the weeks of training leading to their Grand Slam victory, sources reveal.

In the Bag
A spokesperson for manager Eddie Sullivan said “At first we tried Thin Lizzy, Daniel O’Donnell and the Pogues but O’Gara’s kicking was all over the place. It was only when we put on the Reel Note album we knew we had the tournament in the bag”

Shame
Welsh rugby authorities have yet to comment but sources close to Lionel Nallet, captain of eight times former Grand Slam victors France , said «C’etait horrible! Les Bleus n’avaient jamais chance de gagner le championnat en face de cette arme secrète aux mains des Irlandais. Enfin c’est tragique pour les Francais qui ne pourraient pas proposer un meilleur que Johnny Hallyday»

With all Ireland celebrating their arses off, a convocation of bishops issued a nihil obstat urging the people to support the Reel Note Ceili Band in their good work by going straight out and buying a copy of the album.

Mrs Bridie Shostakovich (73) Ballyscullion’s popular postmistress and florist told a Gazette reporter she had already asked her sister in Manchester to send her a copy, describing the album as “without a doubt the most remarkable recording of music since Edison invented the xylophone”

Gobfather

Yesterday band-members were rumoured to be hiding at a secret location in the Spotted Dog, Alcester Street, Digbeth, Birmingham. Quizzed by a reporter from the “Harp” on the whereabouts of musical Svengali Vincent Jordan, Landlord John Tighe asked “Vince, are you here?” and, receiving the reply “No”, denied any knowledge of the charismatic but elusive band-leader

Communiqué
The band’s publicity manager Donal “Squeaky” O’Fibb later issued a communiqué “This was not, repeat not, a miracle. Miracles come much more expensive. The album ‘Depends on the Speed of the Day’ could be widely regarded as a tipping point in Ireland’s sporting triumph and experts believe it could also help heal broken hearts and improve a bad pint of stout. But it will not bring dead pets back to life, neither will it make yiz any better at Sudoku, no matter what people might now be saying”

In the Dáil, the Grand Slam was welcomed on both sides of the House leaving no room for argument. Keen political observers note that Uachtarán na hÉireann Mary McAleese has so far been silent about the possibility of a Reel Note statue in O’Connell Street. The President of the Republic of Ireland has the distinction of being the only Head of State to have been photographed with Vince Jordan.